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Pages: On the rocks? [1]
Author Topic: On the rocks?
somerton

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2011-11-18 22-24-39

On the rocks? Have you ever been in a ltr and suddenly suspected that your partner was thinking about leaving? We've been together almost a decade. Lately she's been talking about who would get what if we broke up. There is something different about her now. Our sex life is just sad. Everything irritates her. I walk around on eggshells. I don't think she wants me anymore. I feel like I am more of an old habit than a romantic partner. The way things have been between us lately, I'm not sure how hard I'd want to fight to save this relationship. Anyone else ever been in this situation?
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dolecki

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Posts: 8

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2011-12-08 17-43-58

YEs, counseling and communcation Before it is too late. And where have you been for x years.or just a new handle?
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  • sinkfield

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    Posts: 40

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    2012-01-21 21-57-16

    not a new handle But maybe before your time? I've thought about counseling, but I've never known a couple that saved their relationship that way. Maybe everybody starts too late? I know that if I mention these suspicions to my partner, she will turn things around and accuse me of hating her or wanting to leave her. I am definitely going to enter counseling for myself, though, thanks.
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    lysne

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    2012-02-21 4-00-02-

    Sorry things are not going well. I agree that many couples go to counseling too late, but think that it can help with the break up process. That's what I ended up doing in my last relationship. good luck!
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  • berkes

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    Posts: 22

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    2012-04-24 17-32-04

    Is it worth saving?? When you look at your partner, do you still get weak somewhere? If so, then you need to open a line of communication before it is too late. My partner and I have been together x years, married for the last x and we hit that stale, "habit" roadblock and almost lost it all. She ended up leaving, I ended up flipping and filing for divorce and thank the goddess that we both came to our knees and realized we could not live without each other. We walked on the eggshells and our sex life was pitiful too, but since we have gotten back together, it has been insane!! We will never agin leave so much unsaid and so many empty moments. Take stock and if you truly love her try!!!
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  • dutil

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    2012-07-26 19-04-46

    Wow Thanks for that little story. I am in a x yr LTR that I though was always rock solid, but lately I've been having my doubts. I don't want to give up on so much, just not sure how to get things 'back'.
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    francois

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    2012-08-02 0-55-10-

    Whoa, that caused a lump in my throat. Glad you found your way back to each other. Break ups are incredibly painful, regardless where you stand. All the best to you.
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  • Karole

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    Posts: 25

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    2012-09-01 7-26-13-

    I still get weak, yes but I'm afraid that she does not. The last time we (I) tried to have sex (after months of nothing), she was distant and seemed bored and then just quit in the middle. I felt like I had molested her or something. I tried not to make a big deal out of it so she wouldn't feel bad, but her indifference really broke my heart and it felt like the final nail in the coffin. I guess I wish that she would just come out and tell me that she's tired of our relationship, but it is more like her to force me to bring it up and then accuse me of being thewho wants out. I'm glad that you and your partner were able to work things out. Do you think that the separation helped?
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  • holtzman

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    Posts: 20

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    2012-10-25 14-54-42

    just maybe Just maybe she does not want to leave at all. Maybe she loves you very much or she would have left already. Maybe she thinks, its you who wants to end things. Maybe she is afraid because things have been difficult and by talking about who would get what she is trying to ease her fears and think if you end it she will be ok. Maybe she is having other issues, stress, menopause, depression? Maybe she needs you to be more understanding. Maybe she needs some space to find herself. Maybe its not you irritating her, its life? Love is so hard to find. Some people spend a life time looking for it and never do. I say if you really love her, be supportive, give her space, but more than anything tell her how much you love her. Ask her what you can do to improve your relationship and sex life if you want to work it out. Talk about how you feel, without arguing. You have a long time together, that tells me you must have been through a lot together maybe this is justmore bump and if you give it sometime it will all work out in the end. you say the way things have been lately you may not want to fight to save this relationship so maybe you need to look in your heart and ask yourself is it you? Do you not want to be with her and just haven't admitted it yet? I know I have found fighting for someone you love is always worth it to me.
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  • millard

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    2012-12-02 13-53-09

    I believe it is possible to love someone deeply but be unable to continue the relationship. This whole thread leaves me weak knee-ed for so many reasons. I send the best to you and yours.
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