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Pages: just talk to him [1]
Author Topic: Just talk to him
geppert

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2011-02-08 12-44-35

just talk to him or him at work when he's ready to come home and tell him you want to fuck his brains out. Then when he walks in the door, take charge and fuck his brains out.
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huckle

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2011-02-11 0-53-02-

Hmmm when can I move in :)
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  • lan

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    2011-02-12 17-22-49

    I don't mean to bring the snark but is this for real or are you Donna Reed? I'll be honest - the whole married in the 'burbs things is my worst nightmare. It's anathema to my entire being. That said, what happened to the kink? Why did you give it up? IMO, once you go kink, it's pretty hard to go back to vanilla. Bring back the kink!
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  • boyack

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    2011-02-13 3-26-47-

    Well, it sounds like that's exactly what she'd like to do! OP, could he be depressed? Unhealthy in some way (poor diet or lack of exercise can sap sex drive)? Having an affair? Some medical problem? The only way to know for sure, though, is to talk to him. Trying to guess is going to drive you nuts.
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  • pennel

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    2011-02-22 5-44-40-

    well put +5
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    ruda

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    2011-03-19 17-57-36

    He doesn't seem depressed, the rest of our time together is fine. We do hobbys together, take walks outside, be spouses. He is even affectionate and loving in public. But when we are alone, its like sex with me is no longer on his mind. I am almost x% certain there is no affair, thats not a concern of mine at all. His job has actually gotten easier in past weeks. His diet is pretty good, we are fairly active. He is a little overweight but not alot, and he is only x.
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    attwick

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    2011-03-26 13-32-16

    Well, that's a tough one! However, people do have sex drives that cycle up and down. I wouldn't say he is "abnormal." However, if he's x, you also don't want this to be your pattern for the next x years. Would he freak out less if you wrote him a letter? Since you've already tried talking and that's obviously hard for him. But it's not fair for him to say it isn't a problem if it's clearly a problem for you, because you're a couple. If you're not happy, then that's a "couple problem." I know when I went through a period in my life with very little sex drive, I felt horribly guilty about being that way, and it was REALLY hard to talk about. My partner could say, "So, I was wondering if..." and I would feel attacked. He could exhale, and I would feel attacked. And I knew that attitude wasn't helping anything, but... it can be a hard to shake. There may not be a "reason" that his sex drive is down. But that doesn't mean there can't still be solutions. A weekend getaway? Scheduling a date? Some different kinks? Restoring some old favorites?
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    kroh

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    2011-03-27 14-00-59

    We didn't give up anything... Kink is still something that I am very fond of. But he doesn't even seem interested in vanilla sex, kink takes more time and effort that he doesn't seem willing to put out. You seem to have gotten me a little wrong. My dressing attractively is walking around in heels, lingerie, and clothes that I know he finds particularly attractive. I would love to kink it up every night (a bit of an exaggeration, but you know what I mean). By now, though, any bit of affection and lust would be nice.
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  • osso

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    2011-05-23 3-47-57-

    Talk to him about it, then take charge
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  • hannemann

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    2011-07-14 15-03-47

    hey girl don't know the burbs, that's where some of the wildest shit goes down.
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  • castaldi

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    2011-08-08 23-06-27

    lots of variables how old, alcohol, work stress, overal health, etc
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    hankel

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    2011-09-16 16-33-40

    i would talk to him about it perhaps there is new stress in his life, or something weirded him out at some point and he hasn't been able to talk about it, or whatever. just talk. to him. no else can help you work it out.
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    marcos

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    2011-09-22 2-07-51-

    Don't be bummed this is part of any relationship. You don't mention it, but there are in the picture, it makes this even more likely. You are doing more than your part, but there are many reasons he may be is not as excited as he once was. Stress, the routine of the grind, etc. You sound as though you are going above and beyond, but there are some things both of you can do. schedule dates so you change scenery, Create theme nights where you get to choose what is done sexually and where he gets to choose. This has been an issue since marriage was created. Please don't give up, it's worth the work.
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    swingle

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    2011-10-08 1-56-12-

    It happens I think we all hit a point like that, whether it's a small or big period of time.... But you really need to talk. Have you done that yet? Or just coming here for some ideas first before talking to him?
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    Petra

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    2011-12-02 5-19-39-

    I have tried talking to him... But no matter how gently I bring it up, he freaks on me about how I don't think he can do anything right, and all we do is fight, or that I am just imagining things and that it is all really all right. He would rather fight with me than talk to me. I am very certain there isn't another woman (or man) involved. I am just trying to get more ideas and a little reassurance from others who may have gone through the same thing.
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    raymund

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    2012-01-15 7-55-18-

    people always oppose me on this one but sexual compatibility is so friggin important in a relationship/marriage. if you've tried communication and it hasn't helped i'd move on to therapy after another mpt doesn't do anything. the more time passes that you're dissatisfied it's going to manifest in other ways. perhaps he'd feel more conducive to opening up if there's an impartial third party. i mean if there's something he's not able to communicate with you alone - since his defensiveness is so marked - i feel like there's a lot he's keeping in.
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    anglen

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    2012-01-16 4-35-14-

    We have always had a crazy sex life... That is why I am so confused and hurt now... Its like he still wants me to be there as his companion, keeping his house and keeping him company, but his wanting to do anything to me has just stopped. I have been thinking therapy alot.
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  • gilland

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    2012-03-06 19-40-31

    I would love and support him through anything. When I said till death I ment it. He is stuck with me until I bury him in the basement. Lol. Just kidding, there. I am just going crazy wondering what is wrong with me, why am I not good enough anymore. I hate feeling this way. :(
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  • germany

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    2012-03-10 1-24-04-

    I've tried holding out, but I am terrible at it. I am very submissive by nature, and I love pleasing him. I try to hold out, but always end up giving in anyway.
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    buhl

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    2012-04-13 9-36-36-

    That's fine. And honestly, in a non-scene situation, it's a lot more healthy to be what you are than to be "passive-aggressive" by withholding. Do you think he would be open to couples counseling? I know the very mention of therapy is somehow insulting to some silly people. :/ I am saddened by your situation and wish I could be more helpful. Since he seems somewhat aloof (at least in talking about what might have brought about this change in his behavior) and you seem to be--quite frankly--a nearly perfect wife, it is awfully hard to have good advice to share in your particular situation. :( I am wishing you the best, and remember that none of this is your fault. No stinkin' thinkin', you!
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  • Gant

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    2012-05-17 20-16-40

    unless you were lying in your post there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. there's nothing like, WRONG with him, either. identify the problem, fix it, get your kink back. :)
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    Bobbe

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    2012-08-01 18-18-27

    hot fucking heels in your pic btw
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    nishida

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    2012-10-06 13-24-28

    Thanks. I do love my shoes. (all bajillion pairs)
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    nicoline

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    2012-11-19 12-00-17

    Agreed. Minimalist, too. I like how your toenails match--how on EARTH did you find a matching shade?! Okay, sorry. Waaaaay off-topic... again. :/
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    neuber

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    2013-01-02 0-42-38-

    It didn't match exactly when I bought it, I just added color til it did. I like matching my polish to things.
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    plouff

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    2013-01-21 16-15-22

    Thanks.
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    madaras

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    2013-01-23 19-22-48

    Make him jealous Tell him about the hot old/younger/whatever guy/girl/couple that hit on you in the park. Sorry if I'm only partly serious. This it's necessarily a long term solution, but when someone has hit on me and I tell the wife -- well she notices me a little more. What's going on in his life?
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  • emert

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    2013-03-01 17-41-21

    that's a terrible suggestion
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    2013-03-02 1-49-26-

    surely we live in different worlds...
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